Monday, November 12, 2012

My Thoughts On Marriage

"In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare.  Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced."
 - Robert Sexton

Marriage is hard.

Anyone married for more than a week knows that marriage is hard.

But lately, I feel like all I see on Pinterest, in blogs, and on Fakebook Facebook, are feel good posts about marriage.
  • My man is amazing!
  • 25 Date Night Ideas To Keep the Romance Alive
  • 10 Ways to Show Your Husband You Love Him
  • I'm married to my best friend!
Don't get me wrong. I love my husband - dearly. And what we have is very special to me. In fact, one of the reasons I've never written about marriage is because I consider ours so sacred. I would never want to say or do anything to violate our privacy or his trust.

But marriage isn't all roses and date nights. It isn't all breakfast in bed and good night kisses.

Marriage is work!

I sat down to write a post about what it's like to work with my husband at our Upward Basketball and Cheerleading league. If you missed it, this post about Upward will fill you in on just how much I love Upward and working with DH.

But I couldn't write about working with my man until I shared a basic issue I have with those who are writing about marriage.

Yes, it's good to have date nights. Yes, it's important to show your guy that you love him. Yes, it's good for our friends to know we love our husbands. But -

If we only talk about the rosy side of marriage and never admit the hard parts we do ourselves and those around us a huge disservice. <-Tweetable->

Let's be real. When you take two adults with their own thoughts, feelings, ambitions, baggage and traditions and form them into a team, even the most loving, well-intentioned pair is going to have a tough time of it. Making decisions can be hard when you come at it from different sides of the issue. Sharing control isn't easy when you are fully capable of doing it alone. Putting someone else first can be a real pain when all you want to do is curl up and take a nap.

I truly love my husband. And I love being married to him. We will celebrate our 15 year anniversary next month. I firmly believe that marriage is a good thing. When it's done right, it's a beautiful thing to watch a couple navigate life's journey together. But anyone who pretends that it's easy or painless or can be boiled down to 10 Easy Steps is selling something.


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