"God doesn't call the equipped; He equips the called." - Anonymous
It’s been almost a year since my last post. I started
blogging with so much excitement. I had lots to share! I was going to make a
difference in the lives of women everywhere. Then I crashed and burned.
What went wrong? It was a combination of things.
First, I got distracted. I got hooked on page views,
re-tweets, and comments. Being a "big blog" became too important. I was losing my focus on content. I was losing myself and my priorities in a quest to grow my blog.
Second, I was getting a little too puffed up. I thought I had real wisdom to
share that would improve the lives of women everywhere. I was totally missing
all of my own issues that needed work.
Finally, events last November had me stepping away out of
necessity to focus on my life and family. During this time, my own baggage and
issues demanded to be dealt with. Facing my own weaknesses and figuring out
what to do with them is not a fun ride. Doubts set in. “What in the world did I
think I had to share?” “As messed up as I am, did I really have the nerve to think I could blog
something useful for other women?” “Do I really have
anything say?”
I honestly don’t know the answers to these questions even
now. But the desire to blog – to share my heart with all its issues - won’t
leave me alone.
So here I sit, working on a blog post – feeling inadequate and
ill-equipped, but willing.
Flawed but still valuable? |
The Bible is full of examples of God using messed up people
to do great things. The story of Gideon is one of my personal favorites. Gideon
was the least of his family, which was the least of his clan, which was the
least of his tribe. He was afraid of the bad guys and was hiding from them in a
winepress. And still God came to him! He was so unsure that God could use him
that he demanded a sign – twice! But God did use Gideon in a mighty way. Gideon
was weak, afraid, and full of doubt. But he became a leader that God used to
defeat a huge army in a miraculous way. Gideon’s
story is in the Bible – the book of Judges, chapters 6-8.
Thank you for your patience with me as I worked out some
issues. Thank you for encouraging me, through messages and emails, to get back
to blogging. Please pray that I will say what God wants me to say.