Friday, September 20, 2013

Back to Blogging - After A Long Time

"God doesn't call the equipped; He equips the called." - Anonymous

It’s been almost a year since my last post. I started blogging with so much excitement. I had lots to share! I was going to make a difference in the lives of women everywhere. Then I crashed and burned.

What went wrong? It was a combination of things.

First, I got distracted. I got hooked on page views, re-tweets, and comments. Being a "big blog" became too important. I was losing my focus on content. I was losing myself and my priorities in a quest to grow my blog.

Second, I was getting a little too puffed up. I thought I had real wisdom to share that would improve the lives of women everywhere. I was totally missing all of my own issues that needed work.

Finally, events last November had me stepping away out of necessity to focus on my life and family. During this time, my own baggage and issues demanded to be dealt with. Facing my own weaknesses and figuring out what to do with them is not a fun ride. Doubts set in. “What in the world did I think I had to share?” “As messed up as I am, did I really have the nerve to think I could blog something useful for other women?” “Do I really have anything say?”

I honestly don’t know the answers to these questions even now. But the desire to blog – to share my heart with all its issues - won’t leave me alone.

So here I sit, working on a blog post – feeling inadequate and ill-equipped, but willing.

Flawed but still valuable?
The Bible is full of examples of God using messed up people to do great things. The story of Gideon is one of my personal favorites. Gideon was the least of his family, which was the least of his clan, which was the least of his tribe. He was afraid of the bad guys and was hiding from them in a winepress. And still God came to him! He was so unsure that God could use him that he demanded a sign – twice! But God did use Gideon in a mighty way. Gideon was weak, afraid, and full of doubt. But he became a leader that God used to defeat a huge army in a miraculous way.  Gideon’s story is in the Bible – the book of Judges, chapters 6-8.

If God can use Gideon, it's possible that He can use me. He doesn’t expect me to be perfect – He knows me well enough to know that’s not possible. He just wants me to be willing. And since I’m not perfect, anything positive that comes out of my writing can only be attributed to God. There can’t be any confusion about who deserves the credit

Thank you for your patience with me as I worked out some issues. Thank you for encouraging me, through messages and emails, to get back to blogging. Please pray that I will say what God wants me to say.


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