Lessons I'm Learning As A Blogger

"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood."
 - Helen Keller

With all the personal analysis that's been going on here on my blog, I'm learning a lot about myself. I hope you are too (learning about you - learning about me might give you a good laugh, but it probably won't help in your daily life). If you missed any of the posts on Being The Best Version of You, here they are.

1. Struggling to Figure Out Who I Am
2. I'm Tooting My Own Horn, and I'm Proud Of It!
3. Putting It All Out There Today - Please Be Kind
4. Using the Pieces to See The Whole Picture

Today is going in a similar direction with me revealing too much about myself in an attempt to encourage you. I want to share a little bit of what I've been learning as a blogger.

The image from my first post

I started this blog on May 27, 2012. Here's my very first post, in case you missed it. I started blogging because I was convinced that I could be an encouragement to women out there. I was going to help them realize that they are special and have something to offer. I was going to inspire them to be the women that God made them to be. Then they would be the mother/wife/woman they were designed to be. I had big plans.

Here's where it gets good. In all the self-analysis posts I've done recently, I'm the one who has learned, grown, and been encouraged. I'm the one who is learning how to be the woman God made me to be. I set out to help others grow (that sounds so vain!), and instead, I'm growing. And I didn't even know I needed to grow and change (I told you I can be full of myself)!

This is me - being vain

When I realized that this blogging stuff was working to change me (and when I got comments that it was encouraging others), I put my whole heart into it. I started making it a major priority. Guess what happened - my calendar magically filled up. I totally ran out of time to play blogger. I had to put it aside to focus on real life. So I adjusted my priorities and put blogging back where it belonged - until the next time.

It seems to be a vicious cycle with me. I get excited about the blog world, elevate it above the truly important things in my life (marriage, parenting, etc), and then something happens to keep me from blogging for a time. I see the wake-up call for what it is and put things back in order. One of these days I'm hoping that I'll just keep blogging where it belongs and spare myself the lesson. But until I wise up, you can use any weird silence on my blog as a message that I got my priorities out of line again.

Where I am going with all this? I'm hoping that if I tell you about the lessons I'm learning, I'll save you some time and energy.

Here's the sum up.

• Attempting to help others is a good thing. But I need to be ready to see myself honestly and grow and change along the way. 
• A good thing, in the wrong place on the priority list, can become a bad thing. {<-Tweet This} And if I don't keep it in the right perspective, God steps in and does it for me.

What about you? What experience has brought you growth and change when you least expected it? Is there anything you tend to mis-prioritize without realizing it? Don't leave me out on this limb all alone :-)

Our Bus Stop Is Teaching Me Something Important

"Know how to live the time that is given you."
 - Dario Fo

Yesterday, as I stepped out my front door to head to the bus stop, I had an epiphany. The bus stop has become a major turning point in my day. The bus stop is where I give my children away, and where I wait to get them back at the end of the day.

Our bus stop - a major part of our day

Before the bus stop every morning, I'm all MOM. Breakfast maker, shoe finder, lunch packer, kiss giver, general of the troops.

After the bus stop in the afternoon, I'm all MOM. Homework supervisor, snack creator, play time referee, shower giver, and bedtime snuggler.

In between bus stop visits, my time is mine. I get to plan it, schedule it, do (or not do) the things on my list, and answer to me.

The epiphany yesterday was about the mental shift that happens after each visit to the bus stop.

In the morning, as I walk back, I find myself running through my lists and planning my day. Since I won't be hearing "Mommy" for eight hours, I can find time to finish a cup of coffee, actually think and accomplish things. It's a wonderful feeling! I'm a Stay At Home Mom, and this is the first year that all my boys are in full day school. It's certainly taking me some time to get used to this new pattern, but I'm soaking up every minute of autonomy. 

In the afternoon, as I head to the bus stop to pick up my boys, my mind needs to shift again. I need to turn off my mental lists and planning for projects and prepare myself to return to Mommy mode. I need to put myself and my tasks aside for a little while and focus on my boys. They need me to be fully present with them.

Give me just a minute here to get on my soapbox about something I'm learning as a mom -

I am at my best as a mom when I am fully tuned in to my boys. When I am trying to juggle other tasks and parent them, I end up not doing anything well. I am learning to put down my phone and my laptop and be focused on them - hearing stories from their day, helping with their homework, playing Legos, holding hands, looking them in the eye when they talk, stopping to be fully present for them.

I know that life gets in the way. I know that there are sports and work and other obligations that make stopping very difficult. We are busy. But as often as possible, I am trying to give my family my undivided attention from bus stop to bed time. I even try not to answer the phone during those times! I need to make sure that what I'm giving them on either side of the bus stop is the very best that I have.

So the bus stop is the hinge on the door in my brain. I need to use this this two minute walk to transition my  mind from me and my to do list to them and their needs. I'm thankful for this walk. I'm thankful for the opportunity to get my brain in gear. I'm thankful for the time I had alone today. I'm thankful for the time I had to accomplish things, or not, as I saw fit. But I'm very thankful that my kids will be home soon.

Whether it's a bus stop, car line, or a walk to the local school, there is that moment between our own time and MOM time. I'm convinced that this moment can make a big difference in our day. The way that we approach that moment, the attitude with which we greet our children, changes the rest of our evening. So I try to use that moment to prepare my heart, my mind, and my attitude. I try to be grateful for the moments I've had today, and look forward to the moments yet to come as a family.

What works for you? When do you find time to accomplish the things on your list? How do you handle the homework/dinner time/bed time thing? How do you recharge during any alone time?

P.S. If you need a nudge to get on the floor and play with your kids, Susan at This Happy Mom is doing a great job reminding me to play. And if you need ideas for Mom time, Paula at Simply Sandwich has a wonderful tool for making time for Mom.



Linking up with Coffee Friday  and Calm My Crazy.

I've Been Thinking About Priorities.

The key is not to prioritize what's on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.
 - Stephen Covey

I'm back!

I took a blogging break for a while. You can read about that decision here. It wasn't a fun call to make, but it was the right one. My life needed me to be fully present for a bit. 

While I was away from my blog, I had time to think through some questions that had been bugging me. 

Where does blogging fit into my life? How do I get everything on my to-do list done? How do I carve out time for me and the things that matter to me?

I went around in circles and kept coming back to the idea of a filter - not for my words; that's a whole different post - for my life. If I make a filter of my priorities and pass everything through it, decisions could be easier and life might be simpler. 

So what are my priorities?

1) God - I want to get to know Him better and keep learning more about who He created me to be. 

2) Family - my husband and three boys matter to me. I desperately want to be the best wife and mother that I can be. 

3) Others - I want to be an encouragement to other women. Whether they are in my real life or my friends in cyber space, I want to be someone who inspires those around me to embrace who they are and live life to the fullest. 

Ok. Now I have my priorities clearly stated. What do I do with them?

Now I use them as a test for every option that crosses my path. 

• Lunch duty at my kids' school? Passes through the filter. So I sign up. 
• Helping a friend finish a major project with a looming deadline? That passes the test. I say yes. 
• Helping to plan an event that I'm not interested in that doesn't reach out to women? Does not pass the test! I say no. 

[A side note here - there is nothing wrong with saying no. Sometimes we have to say no to those who want us to do something. It's ok. Don't feel guilty. Know what your priorities are. Know how much you and your family can handle. Then give the request a fair shake. If it doesn't pass the priorities filter, or if it would just be too much on your family, say no. And don't let anyone give you grief about it. Side note over.]

• Joining the gym now that all my boys are in full day school? It will keep me healthy and sane and help me be the wife and mother I want to be. Passes the test. I say yes. 

I had to take my blogging break because my family needed me. My family comes before others, and my blog is for me and others. My filter of priorities made it an easy call. 

That doesn't mean I didn't miss you! I missed our interactions here, on Twitter, and on Facebook. I missed hearing your thoughts on what I have to say. I'm so happy to be back!

What are your priorities? They don't have to be the same as mine. Does everything in your life pass the filter right now? I love hearing what you have to say!



Linking this post with Covered In Grace's Monday Meet Up, and Things I Can't Say

Big Decision For Me

Hello my wonderful readers,

I don't know if you realized that Friday's post didn't go out, but it really frustrated me not to be able to write and connect with you. I look forward to sharing my thoughts and then getting yours in response. I really enjoy the give and take that exists in our blogging community.

But there is so much going on in my life right now, that I'm really struggling to find the time to sit down and write my posts.  


Here's what's going on right now -

• My babies (don't tell them I call them that) go back to school in three weeks. Getting them ready to go back and spending the last days of summer well are taking up a huge amount of time and energy.


• Our house is being remodeled. We started a major addition - a long story which I promise to tell you some day - in the middle of July. The constant decision making and lack of sleep (the framers start before 7am every day) is taking its toll on my brain and energy.


• Then there is the rest of life - cooking, cleaning, etc. As much as I would love to set those chores aside to spend time with you, a girl has to have clean clothes and food to eat.

So what does that mean for Come Over For Coffee? Nothing major. I still want to spend time talking to you over coffee. I still want to have girl time and good conversation with you at my kitchen table. But I can't have any coffee dates right now. I need to clear my calendar for a few weeks.

Let me get the kids settled into school. They are all three in full day school this year for the first time!! Then I'll have time for our chats over coffee. Having you over will be a top priority after school starts.

Thank you so much for your understanding. I really appreciate your friendship and the richness you bring to my life!

Let's make a date for Monday, September 10. I'll be back at the table with my coffee in hand. Will you join me?

In the mean time, contact me through Facebook, Twitter, or email. Let me know what topics we should talk about when we get together again. Let me know what's new with you. I'll be online some over the next few weeks.

Until our next cup of coffee . . .

With Friends Like These . . .

"Men use care in purchasing a horse and are neglectful in choosing friends."
 - John Muir

I've been pondering this post for a while. It might be a little controversial, and I really hate conflict. But when I get an idea stuck in my head, I have to go with it. So here goes.

Recently, I posted a list of friend types every girl needs. If you missed it, you can read my list here. Then I discovered that there is another list in my head - the list of friend types every girl should handle with care. I'm not advocating cleaning out your friend list on Facebook or editing the contacts app on your iPhone. But if one of these types is in your circle, a little insight can go a long way.

• The Victim - this is the one whose life is always awful. Nothing ever goes right, and it's never her fault. There is never a silver lining to the dark clouds. The whole world hates her, and she is very quick to tell you about it. 
• Why is this a friend to handle with caution? She has the ability to bring down everyone within hearing distance! Her view of life can be a complete drain on your joy. Extensive time with this friend will wear you down emotionally. 
• My advice - spend time together sparingly and in small doses.  

• The Perfect One - have you met her? She's the always happy, always put together, "everything is roses" friend. Nothing is ever bad, and she never makes mistakes. This lovely lady just can't be real with those around her. She can't admit that she is a real person with issues, baggage, and bad hair days. 
• Why be wary with this lady? She can really make an impact on your self-worth. Since the image she presents isn't real, measuring up is impossible. Feeling like you don't cut it will wear down your spirit and cause you to doubt yourself and your abilities.
• My advice - filter all she says and does through the knowledge that it's not real. She's like the pictures of models in magazines - lovely, but totally airbrushed.


• The Complainer -She's a wonderful lady until she opens her mouth. Everything is wrong. Her husband is stupid, her kids are demons, and her job is awful. She's not blaming anyone - just venting. All the time!
• Why is her outlook a problem? We all need to vent  from time to time. And having friends to vent to is one of life's sweet joys. But the constant venting can wear you down! Not being able to stop and smell the roses will exhaust you and will color the way you look at your own life. 
• My advice - after time with this friend, sit down and list all your blessings. Remind yourself of all the positives in  your life.


• The Anchor -This friend means well. She really does. But her concern for you leaving her behind is causing issues between you. You want to lose weight, she offers you cake and cookies. She doesn't intend to sabotage you. But subconsciously, she worries that if you get skinny, you will leave her behind for new friends. You want to go back to school and get your degree. She tells you all the reasons school won't fit into your life. She fears that if you get a degree, you won't want to be friends with her anymore.
• Why worry about this one? Her heart isn't evil. She most likely doesn't even realize what she's doing. Her cautions will even sound completely valid. But she could keep you from becoming all that God has planned for you to be!
• My advice - realize her fears for what they are. Reassure her that your friendship matters and that you will do all you can to foster it.


• The Bully -This one really gets me stirred up. This "friend" always knows better. Everything you do/say/wear can be improved simply by listening to her. She knows better than you how to raise your kids, decorate your house, and deal with your husband. And every piece of advice is unsolicited. This friend may be hard to detect. Usually, their advice is cloaked in "girl talk" - just two girls talking about normal girl topics. But after she goes home, you realize that the whole time  you were talking, she was criticizing you!
• Why be alert with this one? Being constantly critiqued will wear down your spirit! Having that critique come disguised as friendship, can cut to the core. 
• My advice - stand up for yourself! You don't have to take the criticism. If you didn't ask for input, you certainly don't have to stand there and take it. Let the Bully know that you have it under control and that if you need help, you will ask. Until then, thanks but no thanks.

So now what? I've given you my list. What do I hope you will do with it?

First, I would love to hear your thoughts. Did I miss a type to be wary of? Did I overstep with this list? Did I miss a danger of one of these friendships?

Second, as you spend time with the ladies in your life, consider the impact they are having on you. How do you feel after they leave? Are you encouraged or drained? Do you feel inspired or dragged down? If time with a friend leaves you feeling discouraged, look for the reason. Is it you? Is it them? What changes do you need to make?

UPDATE - after talking to DH (my best friend, and the string to my kite - I'll elaborate on that one another day), and a fellow blogger (thanks, Susan!), I realize that I left out a very important part of this topic. What if one of the types I listed hits a little close to home? What if I just described you?

First off, to my wonderful friends, I didn't have any one person specifically in mind as I typed this. This list is based on lots of different women who have crossed my path during my lifetime.

Second, I have been these types myself!  I know the dangers of these types of friends because I have ruined friendships with these character traits myself.

So if you see yourself in my list, please know that you are not alone. I've been there. The good news is that we don't have to stay there!! God can change us. We must acknowledge our need and ask for His help. He is faithful to complete the work He has started in us.

Linking this post up with Covered In Grace.

Practical Ways We Teach Our Kids Who They Are

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful . . ."
 - Psalm 139:14

In my last post about parenting, I mentioned that DH and I want our boys to know who they are. If you missed it, you can catch up here. I promised you some of the practical ways we are trying to teach our boys who they are in God and who they are in our family.

My three boys - ages 10, 9, and 5

• DH and I are still learning, but we make sure to praise the boys - especially in front of others. Hearing us say good things about them really boosts their self-esteem and reinforces the idea that they matter. The world can be a cruel place. Our boys need to know that at home they are loved and appreciated for who they are. Our words are so powerful and have such an impact on their lives.


• We also try to have the whole family present at each child's event - we all go to S2's baseball games, and then we all go to S1's band concerts. When S3 plays basketball this winter, we will all watch every game. We are trying to get across the idea that they all matter equally. I know this concept isn't possible for every family or for every event. But when S2 gets up to bat, if the whole family is in the stands watching, he knows that what is important to him is important to us because we love him. Whether he strikes out or hits a home run, he knows that we have his back.


• We let the boys vote. Each week we hold a family meeting. We discuss the calendar for the coming week and the proposed menu plan (when I have one). The boys get to vote on the meals (they don't always get their way, but we do listen to what they have to say), and everyone gets input on the calendar. We're not a democracy in any way - we tell the boys that our home is a Benevolent Dictatorship :-) - but they do get to have a say. Having a vote reinforces the idea that they matter.


• We serve together. Whatever service project/ministry we are involved in, we all do it together. We tell the kids that without their help, we wouldn't be successful in the endeavor. This idea gives them such a sense of importance - in a good way. They get to serve others as a member of a team. They see the positive results of service and feel the camaraderie of teamwork. They are learning that they are a critical member of a team.


• We remind them of God's love for them and His plan for their lives. We tell them often that He made them just the way they are on purpose. They need to be the person He created them to be in order to do the tasks He has planned for them to do. 

We're not perfect parents by any stretch. And my boys are still young (5, 9, and 10), so I know we have a long way to go and much to learn. But so far, these things are working here.

Want To Know A Secret?

"Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing."
  - Phyllis Diller

I hate to clean. That's no secret. I've even blogged about it. You can read "I deserve a prize" to see how I really feel about cleaning.

One of the ways I try to make up for lack of cleaning is to make sure the house always smells good. If a house smells good, you might not notice the dishes in the sink or the dust bunnies under the couch - at least that's my theory.

My trick for a clean-smelling house is Scentsy. I'm not telling you about Scentsy because they are paying me. The Scentsy company doesn't even know I'm writing this post. I'm telling you about Scentsy because I always imagine that you are sitting at my patio table, and we are talking about whatever comes to mind. Today, Scentsy came to mind. Scentsy is on my mind because I just got a box from my Scentsy consultant. I knew I could tell you all about it, but I figured I'd show you in pictures instead. Too bad these aren't scratch and sniff!

 I got a box in the mail from Scentsy!! It was like Christmas. I couldn't wait to open it!

Eeekk! I can't wait to see what's under the paper!

The first thing I find is a new plug for my boys' bathroom. I had accidentally broken our first one. Having a pleasant scent in their bathroom is critical!!

This is the burner in the boys' bathroom

The next thing I discovered was three next scent bricks. So exciting! Two were brand new scents and one was my all-time favorite scent.

 Coconut Lemongrass - a new scent that I'm crazy about. I'm using it in the kids' bathroom now.

Yuzu Dragon - a new scent with a weird name and a great smell. It's in my bedroom right now.

 Perfectly Pomegranate - my all time favorite scent from Scentsy. I love using it in my living room.

The Scentsy burner in my living room

If you don't have Scentsy in your house, you are cleaning too much :-) Interested in getting your own Scentsy and cutting back on cleaning? You can contact my Scentsy consultant. Tell her I sent you. She isn't compensating me in any way. I just think she's the best Scentsy consultant there is. Her info is at the bottom of this post.

Ok. So now you can have a clean-smelling house and more time to Come Over For Coffee with me :-)

My Scentsy Consultant - 
Sarah Hagen, Independent Director for Scentsy Wickless Candles
www.sarahhagen.scentsy.us.
randshagen@att.net

Remembering an Ancient Ritual

"There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship. "
  - Thomas Aquinas

We're too smokin' for this blog!

Today I'm reminiscing about an ancient ritual - Girls Night Out. I say ancient because I haven't experienced it in a very long time. As I remember it, a bunch of girl friends leave their homes (and husbands and children) and go somewhere for fun, usually food, and great conversation. At least that's the fuzzy memory in my mind. It's been too long since I had time out with the girls. As I sit here missing them, my mind goes to what it is about friendship that I appreciate so much. 

I went through a friendship drought a few years back. 

When DH and I first moved to this town, we didn't' know anyone! It took us some time, but we made a few really good friends. We made "couple friends". You know those. That friendship where the wives are friends, the husbands are friends, and, as couples, everyone gets along. It's the best kind of relationship!

DH and I had very close "couples friends". We did everything together - even when we didn't mean to. We bought houses down the block from each other, within months of each other, completely without intending to. We each brought pets into our homes - cats. Then we had babies within months of each other - all boys. It just kept going like that. Both families growing through life together. We spent New Years together and watched Super Bowls together. We celebrated kids' birthdays together and went on double dates together. 

Then they moved. It was such a sad day in our lives. There went my friend. Now who would I talk to? 

That friendship drought went on for a long time. It was a very rough patch for me. 

I made other friends - I'm a very social person. But it takes a while for me to really open up. I kept at it; trying to make new friends and being on the lookout for someone who could be a "real" friend.

It took some time. Real friendship takes work. But I can say now that I have been blessed with some very special ladies in my life. These friends are the "call at 4am in an emergency" kind. They are the "I know I've lost my mind. Please help me put it back together." friends. I have some wonderful "I just need to laugh. Don't ask me any hard questions." friends. 

It took work to build new friendships. Anyone who thinks friends should just fall into their lap is sadly confused. Calendars have to be rearranged. Plans have to be made. Phone calls/texts/emails need to be exchanged. And hearts have to be put at risk. Over and over. 

The bonds of friendship are forged in the fires of life (that's pretty deep, and I made it up myself).We have to be open about the fires we are dealing with and willing to accept a hand to hold as we walk through those fires. 

Not really us jumping.

I miss my girls. It's been too long since we had time together. I need them. I need their laughter, their support, their understanding, and their unconditional love. 

I'm so blessed to have such good friends!

If you are one of the ladies I'm talking about, thank you! My life is richer because you are in it!

Linking up with Calm My Crazy today, because my friends do calm my crazy!

Blogging and Summer Don't Mix

"The right thing, at the wrong time, is the wrong thing."
 - My Dad

I love blogging. I really do enjoy it! I pretend I'm at my patio table with a cup of coffee and you - my new friends. I pretend that we are chatting about whatever comes to mind and enjoying time together.

But blogging takes time. Getting my thoughts in a straight line in a way that makes sense isn't always easy. So it takes me a little bit to sit down with the topic and try to put my thoughts together well.

Lately, I'm short on time. It's summer, so all my boys are home. Because of how we do summer here (my thoughts on summer with kids), I am constantly surrounded by my men - not a bad way to live :-) But this pattern severely limits my time to sit and type up witty blogs.

I want to blog. Blogging takes time.

I want to be a very involved mom. That takes lots of time.

I only have so much time.

My kids are more of a priority than blogging.

So blogging is suffering. Ugh.

Don't worry. My brain is full of fun blogging ideas (I get my best ideas in the shower). I'm not going to quit blogging. I fully intend grow this blog into bloggy awesomeness. But the awesomeness may not come until September. Stay tuned!

The Light At The End Of The Tunnel Is Not Always An Oncoming Train!

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.
 - Ed Asner

By now you know I'm a mom to three boys, ages 10, 9, and 5. They are REAL boys. They are active, loud, busy, and able to turn anything into a weapon. They are your basic boys, and I wouldn't trade them for the world!

As the mom of boys, life is not always easy. It's rarely quiet in our house. It's almost impossible to keep the house picked up. Dinner times are often a challenge with manners reminders and noise level policing. When they play together, there is usually pushing, shoving, and yelling. Again, they are normal kids!

But sometimes, there is a light at the end of a long day. It's like God says, "Hang in there! Your hard work as their mom is paying off!" We've had one of those moments lately, and I wanted to share it with you as an encouragement.

The other night at dinner, we were all together at the dining room table (we try to have "real dinner" at the table together as often as possible). The boys loved the spaghetti I served and were very effusive in their praise of the meal (no, this is not always the case. we are trying to cure them of the "yuck! I'm not eating that!"). They sat in their seats and used good manners! We had pleasant conversation! We played Question of the Night without drama (each person gets to ask the whole family a question, and we all take turns answering.). Then the boys tried not to laugh at DH's jokes (they are trying to convince him that they don't think he's funny. His mock horror has all of them in stitches.). Then we all cleared the table together and went about our night.

Why am I telling you about this? Because parenting is hard work! Being consistent and guiding our kids as we help them become productive members of society is exhausting. Sometimes we can go days, or even weeks, without any glimmer of positive results. I know. I've been there.

Let my glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel that was not an oncoming train be an encouragement to you. Look for the little lights. Watch for the positive results of your hard work. They will be there. And those moments can help carry you for a little while longer.

Do you have any little "light" moments to share? I would love to hear about them!

Today They Came Over

The ornaments of your house will be the guests who frequent it.
 - Author Unknown

Today was Open Yard at our house. It's one of our favorite summer traditions. 

About two weeks ago, I typed up the following invitation:

Hello Lovely Ladies!!

My children and I would like to invite you to an Open Yard at our house. We want to start summer off with a big party, and we'd love to have your come. Our backyard will be open for play on Wednesday, June 13,  from 10am-3pm. Please come at whatever time works best for you. If you will be here at lunch time, pack a lunch for you and yours. Otherwise, we'll have some goodies here as well as something cold to drink. If it's hot outside, we might pull out the squirt guns, so come prepared. We just want to celebrate summer with you and your kiddos. 

Some of you will know each other, and some of you won't. Please see this as a chance to make new friends, hang out with old friends, and relax together. 

Hoping to see you soon!!

I sent it out to a few mommy friends. Then I sent it out to a few more. And then to a few more. By the time I stopped sending invitations, I had lost track of how many people I had invited. I decided that it didn't matter. Those who should be here, would show up.


Today was the big day. I had no idea who to expect or when to expect them. 


The boys and I tidied the house and put a tablecloth on the patio table. I dumped a bunch of snacks in bowls, made a pitcher of lemonade and one of water. I brewed a pot of coffee. Then we waited. 


At about 10:30, our first guests showed up. It was great to see Mommies and Kiddos. Then the next guest showed up. And then the next. The guests kept coming and stayed until 4:30 this afternoon. 


Overall, our yard saw 11 mommies, 23 kiddos, and 4 babies!!!!!!! 

It was such an awesome experience! I got to sit around my patio table with friends today and just spend time with them! I'm trying to paint a word picture that will accurately describe today's event, and I'm falling short. 

11 women - some of whom had never met - from all different stages of life. Some with new babies, others with middle school children. Some all about healthy eating, others just fine with junk food. Some working moms, some stay-at-home. Some raised in the South, others lifelong Yankees. 

What did we have in common today? Just that we are women and moms. And that was enough. 

We made new friends, strengthened existing friendships, and learned from each other. It was great!

The children played pretty happily in the yard. They would come to the patio for snacks or some lemonade and then go back to the swing set or the trampoline. They had a great time playing and making new friends.  

So what's my point? Why do I want you to know about today? 

1. Because is was so cool! It's totally what I want my house, my yard, and my summer to be about! 
2. Because it was easy. I put out some munchy snacks from Sams Club and some lemonade. That's it. Very easy to do.
3. Because I'm richer tonight for the girly interactions I had this morning.
4. Because I want you to consider doing it too! It doesn't have to be at your house. Invite Mommies to meet you at a local park.

Investing in yourself and your children by opening your home/schedule to other Mommies and Kids pays rich dividends! 

To those ladies who came over today, THANK YOU!  

Saturday Night Thankfulness

Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!
 - Psalm 107:1

It's Saturday night. Do you know what your blessings are?

Today is the end of another week. Tomorrow, a new week will begin. I can't think of a better way to end my week than with a list of some of the ways God has blessed this week. (Yes, these are the same intro words as last week. I'm trying to create a habit here.)

• School is out - we ended the year well.
• Baseball season is over - it was fun, but I'm very glad it's over.
• The house is cleaner today than it was last week - with much less in our schedule, I have a little more time to clean. I don't like to clean at all, but I do like the results.
• I got 2 hours alone yesterday to run some errands - I never take alone time for granted!
• Our family calendar is more paper than ink - it is so nice to see blank spaces where multiple events were last week.
• My last dental surgery is done, and the pain is mostly gone - I hate the dentist, so being done is a big deal!
• Had a fun dinner with all my men tonight - they crack me up!

That's a good sum up of my week. What about you? What good thing happened in your week?

Living With a Party in Mind

“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”

  - Dolly Parton

Tonight DH and I attended a 60th birthday party for a friend of ours. We listened as his children talked about all that they have learned from him; as his wife sang his praises - very much in love, even after 33 years. Folks from the whole span of his life stood to talk about the many ways he had blessed them - giving material goods freely, being a comfort in hard times, serving before the need was even expressed, and always encouraging people in their faith.

There were numerous young people at the party who have been taken into my friend's home for meals, counsel, and sometimes to stay for a while. These children who were floundering teenagers are now young adults poised to make a real mark in this world because of the investment my friend made in their lives.

So many lives touched!

It made me think. When I'm 60, what do I want people to say about me? What kind of impact do I want to have made on those around me? What kind of woman do I want others to see in me?

Whatever my hope for my future, I need to be on that track now. I need to be living the life I want to be remembered for someday.

I know I want to live a life of purpose - a life that impacts others in a positive way and lifts them up. I want to help people grow in self-confidence and in the knowledge that God loves them and has a purpose for their life.

So tonight I'm asking myself if I'm on the right track. Am I making the right choices now to minister to those around me? Am I making the most of the opportunities in my life now to make a difference down the road?

What about you? Are you on track to become the person you want to be remembered as? Do you have a goal? A purpose? Are you actively trying to become the person you are meant to be? 



Linking up with This Really Got Me.

Summer and Kids - My Plan (or lack thereof) for Summer

“Play is the only way the highest intelligence of humankind can unfold.”  
 - Joseph Chilton Pearce

Have you seen the parenting blogs lately? Have you been on Pinterest? The current theme in blogging and pinning seems to have to do with our kids and what to do with them this summer.

Do we send them to camps? Plan an activity for every day? Maybe work on academic subjects so our precious children don't forget all they learned in school this year?

I have a totally different take on summers with my kids. We use summers to PLAY.

Think about how our kids normally spend their day -

They have to get up at a certain time every day to go to school.

So in the summer, I let mine sleep as late as they want almost every day.

They spend every school day totally structured. Subjects, lunch, recess, etc. Doing things at a certain time, whether they want to or not.

In the summer, I like to offer my guys flexibility. Lunch time is when we are hungry - not at a rigid time every day. Play time is when we feel like playing.

Children spend five days a week having information crammed into their brain with little freedom use that information in a creative outlet. I love to hand them a pack of sidewalk chalk or a piece of paper and a box of crayons to see what they come up with.

So what does my summer look like? An open book.

Don't get me wrong. I do have a few ideas in my back pocket for rainy days or for when we need a change of pace. We made a list of things that might be fun to do. I'll pull that list out when I need something new for us. But I won't put those ideas on a schedule.

Will I damage my children by not filling the summer with educational opportunities? I don't think so. I value play and the learning that comes with it. It may not be academic, classroom learning, but it is learning in its purest form.

When we look back on our summers as a family, will we regret the things we didn't accomplish? Will we be sad about the academics we didn't strengthen? Or will we look back fondly at the fun we had as a family and the freedom to play as children?

I know that my way of looking at summer isn't the only way to look at things. Different methods work better for different families. I'm not knocking other folks' way of doing things. I just wanted to present a different view on how to handle a summer with kids.

What do you think? How planned or unplanned is your summer?

Look, Mom! I started a blog!

All adventures, especially into new territory, are scary.
- Sally Ride

I’ve decided to start a blog. Maybe it’s because I can’t get anyone to listen to me soapbox (yes, I'm using soapbox as a verb. I soapbox often). Maybe it’s as a gift to my husband – if I tell you what's on my mind, he won’t have to listen to me. Maybe I just want to hear myself talk. Or maybe I have something to say. We’ll see :-)

Honestly, it's a little bit scary to think about putting my thoughts out into cyber space. What if no one reads it? What if the whole world disagrees with me? What if I start great out of the gate and then just quit because I get tired of it? I really don't want to fail.

I digress. Back to the point -

If you are new to my blog – and since this is the first post, everyone is new to my blog :-) then maybe you want to know what it is I might blog about. I’m going to blog about the things I’m passionate about

• Parenting
• Marriage
• Being an individual
• Priorities
• Faith
• Being genuine
• Grace

That’s not at all an exhaustive list, but those are the main ideas. No, I don’t pretend to be an expert on any of those topics. That would just be crazy talk. But I do know a thing or two about each one. You can let me know if anything I share is worth reading.